Today is the day gran makes her final journey, and we join her to say goodbye. As a little girl, growing up, I spent long holidays with gran at home, and many afternoons after school. My mum was a busy working mum like me, and she must have been comforted to know we were in good hands. Gran and grandpa made every afternoon and holiday fun.
Fish and chip suppers, nature walks, cream teas in Steyning, magic tricks in the kitchen and Fats Waller on the cassette player. Gran would get on the piano and play boogie woogie style - I thought she was amazing. I now realise that Gran fought a life long battle with anxiety, depression and the subsequent isolation of living with this. Never once did she show this to us - She laughed with us, she cried with us, she hugged us, and nurtured us.
Her hair always beautifully set, lipstick red and vibrant. Gran was a profound influence on me as a little girl, and as I grew up, I never forgot her. Even in my teenage years, when perhaps I did not appreciate family as you do when you are older - I would go to her and sit with her for afternoons in front of the television.
I always came back to see her on holidays when I was at university, the years I lived away I always called in on trips back to Sussex. She stoically cared for grandpa - dementia saw to it that he would be taken from gran long before she was ready. I loved that she put my graduation photo proudly on her mantel piece. When I unexpectedly became a mum myself, at 23, it was a tough time. Gran delighted in showing me how to nurse my bundle of joy, and her wisdoms gave me so much strength when I needed it the most - and to think she was 87 then!!
Gran strove to guard her independence with a fierce determination - Sometimes, it was hard to help her. I learned to just be alongside her and wait to be allowed in to her world as her own experience of dementia unfolded. The day last August when we took her things to the care home - my heart broke for her, but I was privileged to have been there for her.
When I look back at the memories Gran has given me, even in the sadness of today, I realise those memories will last forever, and how lucky I am that she has given me these precious moments. She is now, I am sure, together with Grandpa again, the love of her life. Peace for her at last.
Thank you Gran, for all you have given me. I will speak for you today, and I hope I make you proud one last time.
